We talk God to death every Sunday,
but when
is there
time to
experience
his presence with us in corporate worship?
I got sick, this morning, thinking about going to church. I suddenly felt dizzy and tired. Incredibly tired. I sat down on the couch (with a plate of brownies for sustenance).
What’s going on? Church has been my life. I volunteer for hours every week, attend services at several different denominations, read just about anything I can find, regarding what it means to live a God-centered life, what it means to know God. But I had to face the fact that I don’t like church. It feels like a waste of my time. I resent having to go.
Is there anything wrong with church? Anything I can put my finger on? I believe in an active, living, present God, and we spend a lot of time talking about God. Maybe that’s the problem. We talk God to death every Sunday. But when is there time to experience his presence with us in corporate worship?
What about all the good that churches do? We sent money, supplies and volunteers to help with Hurricane Katrina. We provide food baskets and Christmas gifts for impoverished children in town. We hold an annual appreciation dinner for local public school teachers. We offer free counseling to couples in crisis. But do we know our neighbors? Do we love them? Is our giving truly generous or a burden that we carry (because that’s what good people care about)?
I asked my students, last week, where church originated? Where do we get the idea of church? Nobody seemed to know for sure. It’s just always been, some claimed, while others thought that God had founded the institution.
But that can’t be true. Jesus didn’t go to church.
He invited people to enter a new way of life. It seems, however, that we’ve watered down his message, replaced the Kingdom of God with a social institution.
What’s that mean for me? What’s next? What can I do? Should I do anything?
I don’t know.
Looks like I’m going to need another batch of brownies.
7 comments:
Jon,
Thanks for responding so honestly. Apparently, knowing right and choosing to do it aren't necessarily the same thing. But they are necessary if we ever expect to make a difference. This is my conviction. It helps to know that others are carrying a similar burden.
Eric, this is an excellent post. It is good to bring this sort of questioning to the foreground. If you feel going to church is a waste of time, and you "resent" going; then I don't think future attendance would satisfy the purpose of church-going.
All the good church deeds you mentioned are wonderful, generous, kind things to do for others. But your question, "Is our giving truly generous or a burden that we carry (because that’s what good people care about)?", is something more people should be asking. Acts of generosity and kindness should come from the heart, and should not become an 'obligation' because it's what is expected of you. There should be no judgement involved when it comes to acts of kindness, or anything else for that matter. Sadly, this is not always the case; people do judge other people.
You don't have to necessarily attend "Church" to live a God-centered life. To me, your actions and attitudes decide that, not church attendance. Stopping and helping another person without expecting anything in return, and knowing that no one else will ever be aware of your action is truly reflective of a God-centered life.
Some people do feel fulfilled attending a church, and that's fine. But if you don't, you shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with that. You can seek out others who feel as you do, and perhaps then you will... "experience his presence with us in corporate worship".
Your blog is very good, and I'd like to link to it if it's okay with you.
BTW - a batch of brownies is always good :-)
Stargazer,
Appreciate the response and the link. In spite of my resentment and tiredness, I still feel a longing to be in community with other believers. I'm just not satisfied with traditional church. Thanks again for your words. They are both supportive and freeing.
Perhaps you need a new church.
God may move you to a church that talks with him, rather than about him.
Find a local prayer meeting if you can.
Time spent in prayer can be very rewarding, and you will see the results.
And feel them also.
Thanks for a very open and honest look at your feelings.
Allan
Eric, what a powerful wave of Light is pouring through you! I had never thought about the question where church came from. And I realize, good heavens, this is the question that has silently been asked (and answered) by all the gen-Xers and Y-ers and Z-ers that don't go to church. It's the voice of Jesus saying, "That's not what I meant! That's not what I meant at all!" And here is that voice, speaking through you to us.
My advice would be to hoist your sail, mate, because the breath of G-d is blowing on you. Let it take you where it wants to.
Hey Eric - Longtime no see. miss you.
Wish you were closer and could drop in for brownies. I make brownies that are worth a pilgrimage. Even from Idaho
true story:
I was at a church potluck. Speaking to a man who seemed a little 'off' but not too bad. After several minutes of semi-normal conversation, he says,
"So, you may not have noticed this, but I AM the Holy Spirit."
"Really", says I - being a mental health professional I followed with
"Have you told your doctor about being the Holy Spirit?"
"Yes" he says "He doesn't believe me"
"It's a problem" says I
"So, What's it like being the Holy Spirit?"
"Well, I go to a lot of churches, but they never listen to me.
I went to the White House once, but they didn't listen to me either - actually it's kind of frustrating."
Sensing an opportunity and slipping into selfish mode I asked,
"So, How am I doing?"
"You?, oh, your doing just fine - don't worry"
"Thanks - don't give up on us, OK?
"Ah, never could do that"
from somewhere in NoMan's land on the Q Continuum
Good to hear that the Holy Spirit approves. I may have to stop by for brownies one of these days.
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